From Here to Eternity

"Madness Comes And Madness Goes
An Insane Place With Insane Moves
Battles Without For Battles Within
Where Evil Lives And Evil Rules"

«Days leave, I stay» wrote Apollinaire. Often, as made it notice White Ninja besides very exactly in one of his/her/its texts, there are periods of the year where oneselft remember his/her/its memories and, with a tip of nostalgia, one lands the present to consider the future then. In what concerns me, but I think that it is the case for a lot of people, her Christmastime is the most auspicious period to these introspective reflections.

I remember as if it was yesterday of this Christmas 1989. Until then possessor of a VCS 2600 and a CBS Coleco Vision, I had asked for Christmas a computer. The classic argument was that to play that was a friendly thing, but that with this charming bestiole, I could work in addition thanks to super educational software. Ah, the argument of the death that kills: the school work! When one takes people by feelings, one gets everything that one wants! ;-)

He/it remained to spend to him offensive therefore! Of course, I knew very although the old bearded obese (no, no, I don't speak of Carlos! :-) and his/her/its supersonic sledge didn't exist: I had to plead my reason therefore close to the superior processes, otherwise said,: my parents!

The choice had to make himself between an Atari STE and an Amiga 500. A PC? Pfff, for beefs and to work: games were rotten to burst and I didn't want to work on my beautiful computer (10 years after, I confess courageously that I told the pipo at the time of my moving allegation on kindness educational of a computer in a home. Fished attorney is half did forgive, no?) ! In fact, there was not a possible hesitation in my head: all my pals (of which Phil; to this time besides I didn't squat pain at home to play him «Manor of Mortevielle») having of them Atari STF, my choice carried himself as a matter of course toward the all new STE.

But the condition of purchase of her marvelous machine was clearly defined: I had to have some excellent quarterly notes. Was this one means to dissuade me? Was this one challenge? I will never know it I think (and anyway I don't want the knowledge! ;-) since since the time my parents have to forget it their machiavellian reflections and the demonic plan that they had to construct it to make my project renounce me.

But it was without counting on my determination. My parents had put the particularly high rod: 15/20 of general average! When I reconsider there, it really made many. I worked therefore like a sick during the quarter to finally get 15,5/20 of general average (1st of the class in addition! And paf! As what, him data processing doesn't give back necessarily silly and mean! Finally, of the least in the beginning; because after one finishes violent, asocial - limit autist - and epileptic ;-).

It is therefore all proud that I presented myself before my father with the precious school bulletin, raising a small smile satisfies to lips as much as I remember. That was there! He/it had to finally accept, it was in terms of the contract! It is since that day that I finally understood that one has that what one deserves: if one works indeed, one gets what one wants. It is the just reward of work. Otherwise, it is the injustice!

Therefore, some days after, we made stores with my father in search of a 520 STE and his/her/its screen SC1425. But to this time, the last been born of Atari was in national stock rupture. I failed to become mad: I immediately wanted this machine! Finally, one ends up putting the hand on a STE two days before Christmas. The two games took with her beast were for me source to moult wonders: «Travelers of the time» and «Iron Lord» captivated me during of them whole nights. It is to this period that my father began to interest itself/themselves to him data processing and to video games; I had contaminated him visibly! ;-) But him, he/it is rather fan of strategy games.

«Dungeon Master», «Chaos strikes back», «Maupiti Island», «Leisure follows Larry», «Cruise for a cadaver», were some exceptional games, surely among my better memories ludiqueses. And «Bloodwych» to two, it was a true revolution! There ensued surely my taste for games of role, heroic fantasy and quests (of where my pseudo!). Without counting than us (Phil and me) we were made a new pal in her Jym person; we were not in her same class and Phil had one year besides than us (and therefore he was in superior class), of this fact we found again all three to the recreation to annotate exits of the last games, our Bible that was then the marvelous Tilt magazine to the hand.

And then, there was the mythical war between the Amiga and them ST To the College Voltaire to Remoulins where we were then, there was the clan of the CPC-ists, besides relatively friendly with Atarists (hello to you Vincent Leaune if you read this, one never knows! It makes a lease that one didn't see himself! Besides Vincent had bought on my advices a STE to replace his/her/its CPC 6128), Atarists (in majority, we were therefore killers of the College, we were all of the God what! All games left in priority on our machine, them others were content with adaptations several months after!) and then there were Amigaists. Those there, it was another pair of sleeve, believe me!

These «homosexual» of amigaists (I take here a term of Lord Morgul that pleases me well; he/it recalls me of the noteworthy memories, there is an accent of truth and he/it sounds good in addition to the ear ;-) gave us indeed of the thread to retordre: ah, the verbal jousts between clans to the recreation: «Oh him other, hey ziva hey how that he/it causes me! He/it dares to say that his/her/its shit of ST is superior to my Amiga! Heard you already the difference of his/her/its species of Mongol? Us one has the zique, not of the noise! », «Whore, as he/it is played it with his/her/its shit. Amiga, it is in addition girl's name: have you Homosexual's computer my pal! », «How? Repeat a little that to see? », «Yeah! And do you have him, you, then Chaos strikes back? Hey? », «Me in madmen, he/it stinks this game! And then anyway, in three months, he/it will leave on Amiga and he/it will be much better! Especially at the level of the sound! », «Whore but you are going to stop with this fucking his/her/its! You are going to eat you one of it on the muzzle if you continue to look for me! Saw yourself Pascal, he/it looks for me this stupid! But say something shit! », «Me me me in madmen of your computer craps, it is for them imperfect these things! Me I only interest myself to movies of Karate! ». Ah, there there: that of moving memories, my friends!

The guru of the clan Amiga had for name Jean Pichinotti. This heretical had to buy himself on our advices a STE and then, finally, while coming back of the store, he/it had taken an Amiga. Pfff, salt heretical, Judas! Worse same, he/it was Satan's reincarnation, the fallen angel! And then, he/it began to indoctrinate pupils anxious to buy itself/themselves a computer. His/her/its technique was simple: he/it explained that «the sound of the Amiga is better than the one of the ST! ». Ah, this argument one debated some of hours.

Finally, the court of recreation changed little by little of it «Populous» real version: one had to rally the more of possible souls to our reason, to our Saint Crusade against these cursed heretical of amigaists that didn't understand anything to life. One would have believed himself at a time in a political countryside and in a military battle, with rallies, of the secret meetings at such or such and all the tralala. One made the marketing in a way before the hour. And as I always had a holy horror that one doesn't agree with me, I didn't invest myself pain in this fight: it was a question of honor!

Ah, it was one time really blessed of the God! That, it was the data processing that I like: proceedings, the diversity and the intelligent technical evolution. One had the impression to be an actor indeed, to make live his/her/its machine while counseling it around us. The passion enlivened us and devoured us (the quarterly bulletins of some were the painful proofs of it ;-). I suppose that a lot of between see you of what I want to speak while saying it ;-)

When one reconsiders there, her ST/Amiga duel allowed these two machines to develop itself/themselves, to sell itself/themselves and to create a mind of body around them with welded two clans and productive. Everything that permitted to display the superiority of his/her/its machine was good to take. It permitted to win souls and also reassured us a little somewhere in our choice ;-) It is for it that these two machines subsist again through the world in spite of the disappearance of Atari and Commodore: them old supporters believe to the potential of their machine and essayent to perpetuate the good word close to them youngsters again (Hello to FroST and Zool! ;-)

Quickly, I interested myself to the more serious games: «Railroad Tycoon», «Sim City», «Civilization». However, these games didn't go far enough for me: I dreamed option multijoueurs, of extreme realism, of IA capable to surpass the human brain. Ah, the influence of science-fiction movies on the weak minds! ;-)

From then on, I started imagining a game to which I would like to play, and I finally wrote a complete storyboard of 70 pages about during my free time. Useless to say that the game had to be developed in priority on Atari ST and Falcon030: one was going to put it to them deep to these homosexuals of PC-istes and of amigaists! :-)

It was cleanly a work huge but, with the receding, the experience was particularly enrichissante. In the same way to it, I made drawings under Deluxe Paint. The following, you must know it: I made team with Megastep and Godzillas and we won it «Price of the best game» and him «Big Price of the Festival» to «Soft Qui Peut» in 1994 with «Micro Builder». This experience was fundamental for me: it proved me that I was capable to make some interesting things myself. Besides, the creation of this game serves me again at the time of interviews (oral of Superior school of Trade for example): to every time, people seem «captivated» and it is all good for me! :-)

Him data processing is an excellent means to apply his/her/its ideas; I quite understand White Ninja when it says that it wanted to be recognized with his/her/its music: one wants to show of what one is capable to them others, it is human! If him data processing had as much success on ST and Amiga that is because these machines permitted to make everything that one wanted to the relatively pro- levels pretty much (of the less for the time): music, graphics, games, video, all was feasible and to weak cost. The art, to the large sense, is a means to spend to the posterity: remember of drawing contests in fire-TILT. It was the time of the mythical vocations and the big revolutions.

I confess not to understand readers that hesitate to write texts for the Toxic-Mag: a free and available diskmag on the Web is an excellent means to promote his/her/its ideas, to make know his/her/its texts and his/her/its creations. Why to hesitate? There is all to win there! And then, one is not limited to the domain of him data processing in our dear mag: it is in my opinion a very positive point.

To this subject, I would want to give back homage to The BeaST: I arrived in the editorial staff of the Toxic-Mag whereas he/it had just taken exactly his/her/its functions of editor-in-chief in replacement of the friend ST-Survivor left to the army. Adoring to write, I proposed him of texts of my composition. Only problem: they didn't have a report in general with him data processing nor with the ST there was all indeed in these texts! :-) However, he/it has them all accepted. Still.

He/it even proposed me to make left of her Toxic-Team: a honor that I am myself eager to accept! :-) And hop! There I am member of Typhoon and Supremacy. Certainly, a diskmag Atari must speak of Atari but not exclusively: let's not restart mistakes of the past! It is necessary to know how to open up on the world. So Atari, Commodore and Amstrads disappeared bodies and souls, it is because they had an egocentric vision and closed of their universe. Apple failed to disappear for the same reason.

I think that if the Toxic to survived, it is first of all thanks to the trio Thyrex - The Beast - ST Survivor and to their incentive and determination in spite of the numerous reefs. In addition of it, the opening toward of other horizons (attention, I don't speak of PC nor Amiga! One doesn't side with the Devil nevertheless! ;-) as for example of them news, of points of view, of them chronicles, of tests of CDses and books and the various and varied deliriums (as the mythical category «humor») permitted to attract people, old atarists or not besides, and to create a new dynamics around the Toxic-Mag as the mail seems to show it to the thread of numbers. The perseverance hire still.

Certainly, one can sometimes reproach a too big diversity to the Toxic but it is relatively minor in the sense where these texts are some «bonus». And then, this diversity is a little the mark of factory of the Toxic-Mag as made it notice Stimulus besides in a review of the press. It is necessary to know how to accept his/her/its mistakes however: as I recognize that my two texts of economy were can be a little (very? too much?) exaggerated in a diskmag but he/it is funny to note that in spite of their small number (2 it is not enormous in six or seven numbers that I write in the Toxic) it marked minds a lot. One remembers more indeed well «of texts of economy of Quest» that of my news «Virus» or of my «Pieces Mind of».

I benefit some to make a small private talk: when someone written «the texts economico-thought unique of Quest», I find that it is a little strong: the text of economy put in reason is the history of the economic thought, it speaks therefore of all currents (certainly, there are the neoclassical but there are also Marx and Keynes!). My mistake was to give my opinion at the end: it was a coarse mistake since if I had not told it one would never have known my opinion. Mea Culpa! Whatever he/it is some, I didn't write articles of economy anymore since a lease (and there won't be some more besides). Voilà I close here this small bracket. Where were us of it already? Ah yes: I remember!

The Toxic-Mag proves that one can be at a time serious and raving and work gratos solely for the fun, and also a few because one has the faith in something.

Don't demomakers make (made?) not of demos for money (in short, not too much I suppose ;-) but for the fun and the glory. This state of mind has the tendency to disappear aujourdîhui: one recovers it for example in the Linux community but it is far to be the majority of computer users. Henceforth, in him data processing, all is unfortunately that fashion and money. Such a speech must appear bizarre in a student's mouth in Sup of Co, and therefore intended to make the busine$$ style the World Company, but it is sincere. Of as much more sincere than practices of the Sir Bill Gate$, to staying it excellent in term of marketing/strategy, irritate me to the highest point!

Also, some time, I surprise myself to wonder what will think of the Toxic-Mag readers of the future: will we spend to the posterity with our writings and our fight for him alternative data processing or will disappear us bodies and possessions in the abyss of the time? Either, worse, will consider us one as of details of the computer history, an odd rebel strip against the general tendency of the technological evolution? Only the future will say it. But don't forget the slogan of my school: «The future belongs to those that create it»!

Nothing is more convenient and universal that the Web, but nothing is more fragile as: the computer data, contrary to books, are fragile and can disappear of one day to him other. All is only potentiality. Also, all the done work can fade away in a fraction of second. A reef besides on the long path that takes to the recognition and the eternity.

«The first will be the last and the last will be the first»: with all that defenders of him alternative data processing has to undergo it (and undergo again), did we drink the chalice until the dregs; it let us hope for a radiant future, no?

« Wouldst thou » so the helmsman answered
« Know the secret of the sea ? »
Only those who brave its dangers,
Comprehend its mystery.

Hello to : The BeaST, ST-Survivor, Thyrex, FroST, Zool, Senser, White Ninja, Supernova, Typhoon Team, Supremacy Team, Flan/ADR, Edo/SCT1, SCT1 Team, Zappy, Magister98, Lord Morgul (bravo pour les deux excellents textes du Toxic 16 !), Jym, Phil, Popol, Bojan (alias Blondin ou Sonny), Alex, Narcisse (alias Cisco), Hervé, Loïc, Julien "Julio", Nico le « tennisman fou », Mike « l'amateur de sauvageonne », Son Excellence le Comte Vlad, Pavlo Pretychenko (Ukraine rules !), Mehmet « Turquie Forever », les membres d'Esc@pe : Ray ishido, François, Saban (l'homme à la 309 customisé. A quand la 605 Srdt ?;-), Fabrice "Grosquick forever", Jérôme, Julien Bastelica, toute la promo 2000 du CERAM ESC Nice, Iron Maiden, Damon Hill, Dana Scully, tous ceux que je connais et que j'ai oublié de citer ;-) and, of course, all the Atarists all over ze world !