A LITTLE PIECE OF BEAST

By The Beast

This "Piece of Beast", all as the one of the previous Toxic Mag, inspires himself of the set of them "Piece of Life" of our Quest friend. Only, this (short) text has been written during my military service and has especially been addressed himself to our younger readers (FirST cuckoo, Zools and others) that won't have the pleasure to taste this dear institution that is the army!

It is currently 9h10 to my watch, we are Wednesday. All the company cleared off in Paris to parade. Here, he/it only remains 6 or 7 people and, as I don't have anything to make of the morning, I had the idea to tap a little text for the Toxic on my portable. There, you are going to tell you: " Errr... a portable to the army ?". And why not? I will have brought my Falcon well but it takes too much room...

Outside, under my window (I am to the first floor only), a TRM 2000 turns since one hour and that begins to stink the gazoil in the room, even as having closed the window. These bastards made him surely intentionally so that one doesn't sleep in room during the day! ;-)

The weaponry, or how to become a pro of the PlayStation

One often says that to the army, one doesn't stop to hit themselves of attentions, of chores of closets, of maneuvers on the land, etc. Yep. In the regiment where I am, this is not every day like that. OK, I have pals that are at the moment in Paris parading (and to fill themselves the belly as porks, because the grub is good quality), but this is not the case of everybody. Others drift in offices, some play the Hermit under Windozz 3.1, others squat the drink distributor again.

Me, I am armourer. As Telsud, one of coders of my group. About one week on three, I follow permanence to the weaponry. That means that with a pal, we are charged to open the weaponry the morning, to keep it the day and to close it in the evening. If need be, we answer on the phone and we open the door to other company gunsmiths. It is all. In the common room of the weaponry, there is a television. By dint of to remain before, I am capable to tell you what are the programs television of the 6 national chains at any hour of the day. The morning, when one opens the weaponry, toward 7 hours, one puts M6. There are good, a pity that they iron still the same: Maria Carrey, Sandy Valentino, Cher, Manau and well of others. Small anecdote: in the previous contingent, there was a completely obsessed gunsmith, he could not stop himself from running in all senses when he saw Maria Carrey, because he was fan of her : He walked in the room on his armchair (I specify that the armchair in question has roulettes), while pushing his feet on walls to go more quickly, and it bawled obscenities of the style: " Ah, the bitch, she is good! Ah, she separates, the bitch, she likes that !". I have very fear that the army get the people mad. ;-)

To part clips, one had of course right to the American and German TV series. It is mad the number of series that chains of television pass during the day! The better coasts the worse, but most series are miserable enough. Me I like ' The man who falls to pick " or " Hat melon and boots of leather " and its kitsch universe well. Sometimes he/it arrives to fall on new sets, as Medicopter (" Help, Medicopter, mom fell in the pit of manure "!), but as it is hopeless, one plugs the console!

Practicum of PlayStation

I ever have as much played to the console of all my life! To the weaponry, it is necessary to take care, then one makes contests of FIFA 98 between different company gunsmiths. Good, I took myself of good shaken to the departure, but I begin to understand the working of the game: lobs, returned, centers of the bullet, etc. I am sure that at the end, one will be all of pros of FIFA 98! In addition, this game is achieved not badly, a few slow but not bad. And very realist. Evidently, one has other games as Doom or Gran Turismo, but I am not going to spread on that. Very good game, Gran Turismo.

Small bracket: few people know what happens in a weaponry, being given that it is a ZMS (an dangerous military zone, one has the right to use the automatic guns of security without making summons if one is attacked). The weekend, when the adjutant is not there, one doesn't hesitate to take itself/themselves in photo with weapons to the hand. At home, there are only three types of weapons: the FAMAS (Rifle of assault of Saint-Etienne Weaponry, efficient until 300 meters, shooting in gust or bullet by bullet, etc.) that is the equivalent of the american M16, the PA (automatic gun, capable to penetrate 15 cm of wood at 25 meters) and the 12.7 (heavy machine gun of 60 kg, capable to touch an objective at 3 km). To take photos, one had the appropriated holdings. Evidently, when I had the 12.7 between hands (whore! whom it is heavy!), I was in t-shirt and sunglasses. We laughed a lot! Rambo rulezzz!

One also has a game of darts, yeah, with true darts that prick. That, it is when the console is not there or that there is not anything of interesting to watch on TV. Hold, the corporal-chief has just displaced his TRM 2000, I am going to finally open the window!

The army, it is cultural

Yeah, wait the following to judge by yourselves. Thanks to the army, I could either have discovered to rediscover heaps of magazines: The echo of Savannas, Interview, Penthouse, Newlook, etc. I never have so much read magazines, it is necessary to take care well! In my room (it is a room of six, hey), one has a television and a video recorder. Curiously, there are quite a lot of old Japanese cartoon fans, as Captain Harlock, Cobra or Cities of Gold. When my armourer colleague and myself are permanence, we are blocked in barrack the weekend. One is not going to be inconvenienced to subdue itself/themselves some episodes of Captain Harlock, hey! Some time, one passes movies of the style " Amsterdam Forbidden " and one laughs good before the television (on the cutaway of the movie, it's wroten " hard without limit, shock scenes ", you see what kind of movie it is about).

What you missed

Dear friends who avoided the military service one way or another, here is what you missed:

Classes. That " makes the queue ", as we say here. Exercises with the FAMAS, grenade launching, course of the fighter. The better of the worse: nights on the land, in holes of fight. Especially when the weather is cold. A delight...
The wakening at 5h30, launched by the corporal of week (" Wakening of the company, bunch of fuckin' bastards "!).
The gathering for the ordinary (the canteen, what), in lattice but without parka, even in winter. We are men or not...
The salary, 540 FF per month. Is it all? Well yes, it is all.
The gathering for colors: nearly all Fridays, very early the morning, all companies assembled on the room of weapons, before flags. Only gunsmiths don't know this torment (niark, niark,niark).
Sport, especially under snow. And if there is a chilling wind, it is even better.
The maintenance of vehicles. Terrific.
Days of jail : I cross fingers, that is not again ever happened to me.
Rations of fight, better according to menus. And I pass some!

THE END

It is already the hour to leave you... today we eat rations of fight, but I don't mind, I bought myself two sandwhiches, hey hey hey! Well, goodbye children!