THE (no more) HIDDEN ARTICLE
1 3 W A Y S Y O U C A N H E L P T H E
G R E E N H O U S E E F F E C T
The world is rapidly becoming uninhabitable because of man's excesses.
Here are 13 ways in which YOU can help speed that process up.
IN THE HOUSE
Domestic electricity comes from Power Stations, most of which burn up fossil
fuels -coal, oil and gas- at an alarming rate, releasing an enormous quantity
of waste gases into the atmosphere, displacing Earth's protective ozone layer
and giving rise to the Greenhouse Effect. The more power you use, the more
they have to burn. Here are a few simple ways you can force them to keep up
1. Keep lights ON at all times. Every little helps. Remember, 16.66
sixty watt lightbulbs use up as much power as one kilowatt electric fire !
Wear eyeshades in bed at night so that you can keep your bedroom light on.
2. Keep other domestic appliances switched ON as often as possible
(earmuffs should be worn to guard against excessive tv, radio and vacuum
cleaner noise). When buying domestic appliances always look for the most
energy INefficient model. Your retailer can help you here.
3. ELECTRIC COOKERS are heavy consumers of energy. Use yours at every
meal, even if you're only having salad. Try to have a cooker in every room.
4. HEATING is the major consumer of domestic energy. Always maintain
central heating systems on maximum setting. Augment with additional electric
heaters. Keep electric fires burning at all times, even when you're out.
5. Wear light clothes around the house, or better still go naked.
This will help you cope with the unbearable heat. Keep the fridge open for
that continuous Cool Blast.
6. NEVER INSULATE. A great deal of heat can be lost through poor
insulation, allowing you to burn more electric fires. With luck, your house
may burn down, adding to the Greenhouse effect.
7. Chlorofleurocarbons -CFCs- are inert gases used in many aerosols
and are an important source of Greenhouse gases. Avoid cans marked "Ozone
Friendly" and "CFC Free". Ask your retailer for ozone UNfriendly products.
Don't be afraid to make a fuss. He's there to serve YOU.
8. Make sure your DIET includes plenty of beans and other vegetable
matter. This will encourage your digestive system to produce METHANE, an
often undervalued contributor to the Greenhouse Effect. Go for it !
IN THE CAR
9. VEHICLE EXHAUSTS are a major producer of Greenhouse gases. Use
your car as often as possible. Drive about aimlessly. Go on long journeys
whether you need to or not. Strictly avoid any form of Public Transport.
10. Always drive a large "GAS GUZZLING" car. This burns up fuel
more rapidly. If possible, consider switching to a truck or a bus.
11. NEVER carry passengers. This forces other people to drive THEIR
cars, thus burning up more fuel.
OUT AND ABOUT
12. Trees help to counter the Greenhouse Effect by absorbing carbon
dioxide and giving out oxygen. Encourage tree-felling by buying wood and
paper products whenever possible. Insist on "tropical" timbers. Never recycle
13. Encourage your government to start WARS. Wars are enormous
consumers of fossil fuels. Wars in oil-rich regions are best, especially
if an oil field or two can be set alight.
SPONSORED by GREENSTRIFE - a Non-Charitable Organisation Dedicated to the
Rapid Destruction of our Planet.
This article was extracted from a TOXIC-Comics' mag, and typed by
IKI. Thanks to Judge Dredd for supplying the magazine !!!
We hope that, like us, you will make of this article your bible.
Have luck and don't forget these laws !!!!
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